Living in a world full of standards, patterns and canons, being yourself and being happy in a different way might even sound crazy sometimes. But is it worth it being successful in society’s terms of definition, but not being yourself? Is it worth it following successful social patterns, but not being what you were hoping and dreaming you would be? Is it worth it having an accomplished standardized life in front of others, but a mess in your heart? Is it worth it perfectly being “as expected” – but not at all as you are?
There are a lot of studies, nowadays, on social media’s influence on everyday life, on false social standards, targets and expectations promoted online, on wishing to become in a way or another not because you want to, but because others do and “you can’t go out of the line”. But this problem is not from today’s times – maybe just seen now more often, publicly spoken, differently “advertised”.
But social standards are coming way from old times. Humans always wanted more than the one nearby – starting from more food, more land, more guns, the most beautiful girl in the village😊, more power, more wealth, later on a bigger house, a better job, higher in professional hierarchy (not necessarily better professionally, but higher in hierarchy😊), more expensive clothes and the list goes on and on and on. Even if, many times, you don’t need that much, you actually need a small part of all, you have to fit the standards – there’s an example that always comes to my mind when talking about this, you build a seven-room house only because your neighbor has a five-room one, no matter that you need only two rooms😊 Or buy a silk dress even if you love simple cotton dresses, just because all girls in the group do so – and examples can be thousands.
You are running from morning till dawn to have, to fit, to be “more than” and to fool yourself that you are happy😊
But are you? Are you truly, profoundly, really happy? Is it worth it fitting, accomplishing, following the lines? Because things can be different, you know.
There are people who are more than happy with a two-room house, with a small kitchen table around which the family is together, every morning and every evening. Happy because they know that no matter how big the house is, you still need only one bed to sleep in and one chair to stay at the table. Happy because they know that what matters is not how large the room is, but how big is the love inside. You have a huge living room for nothing, you know, if each sits in a different corner, scrolling his phone or lost in his own thoughts😊
There are people happy with cheap clothes and who would rather buy expensive books😊 Others for whom the car is just an object to do your job with, not something to show, to be proud of, to compete with and to cost a fortune. Who would rather see a museum than go shopping and who choose to rent a small house in a coastal village, on holiday, rather than staying in a five-star hotel. Do you think they are less happy?😊
I know long time relationships where partners are not married and are perfectly happy together and with their choice. Couples that consider parenting is not something they want. I have gay friends, single moms friends, divorced friends, I know people who gave up successful careers in big cities for a quiet, peaceful life in a small village. Are they less happy? Didn’t seem like😊
And I have also enough examples with people following all possible “standards”, looking perfect from the outside and being completely messy on the inside.
I know that, nowadays, being yourself seems many times an act of courage. Not following standards – some kind o craziness😊 Wanting less – sort of coming from another galaxy😀😀😀 Being sensitive, also😊
But I love people who have the courage to be like this. Who live not for standards and the world, but for themselves and the ones they love. I love people who walk barefoot in a park and love that, who hug and kiss forehead in public, who read real books, not all bullshit from the internet, who know that sensitivity is a real treasure, who wear colorful dresses at a formal, rigid evening party, who have the courage of loving whom they want and following their heart, who know that, many times, less is so much more, who understand that it’s about your life, your choices, your inner peace and your heart. Who have the courage to break chains of any kind, at any age, knowing there’s no proper age for doing one thing or another, just “that time” when you feel and act accordingly.
People who know how to turn life not into a continuous race, but into a celebration. Who feel. Who dare. Who are not afraid to be different. Who know that truly being yourself is the most beautiful coat you can ever wear.
People who know that life is about actually living, not just being alive.
And those who know that there will never be standards for the freedom of heart.
Photo from personal archive